Depression & Such

I need to go back to Germany. If for no other reason than because I feel I won't be as depressed there. I am miserable living with my parents. Not that they aren't a huge help, sometimes. I feel as if they take advantage of me, and expect me to do things differently than I do them. Every day is a fight with my mom about one thing or another, mostly related to my EC with Graham.

I also feel like my being here is keeping my dad from doing things that he needs to do, such as work. Maybe if I returned to Germany my parents would be happier with each other, since at that point my mom couldn't be jealous that my dad gets to spend so much time with us.

There are a couple things keeping me here. First, I couldn't go back to Germany until Middle of November. Going now would be pointless because Aaron is coming to California in less than 30 days. I'm returning from Cali on November 11, which of course means Thanksgiving is only a couple weeks after that. I'd have to stay for Thanksgiving. If I'm not here for Christmas my family would kill me! All of them, not just my parents. Second, I want to go back to school, which means Anatomy & Physiology and Microbiology. Both of which are classes I can't take online, which means I have to be stateside.

I think I need antidepressants. Or maybe just a job.