Birth...the American Way

I just read a woman's birth story. It was her third child, the first 9lbs, the second, 10 lbs. Both were normal vaginal deliveries with no complications. At 37 wks, her OB did a growth ultrasound and told her baby was 10 lbs and recommended a c/s. She consented, and at 37 wks said c/s was performed. Baby was 5lbs 6oz!!!!

The problems with this are as follows. The woman is obviously capable of giving birth to large babies, she has done it twice, why would an OB try to tell her otherwise? Oh that's right he makes more money off a c/s and has complete control. That child is now considered a preemie! He is at a higher risk for all sorts of complications simply because a doctor decided so.

This is birth the American way. My next birth (which could be in as little as 7 months) will not be in the American way, at least not present day America.

I say could be because I'm not positive that I'm not pregnant at the moment. Yes I have taken several HPTs that have been negative, but I feel "off". I also noticed today that Graham's poop was seedy, which was my first indication in Kayla that I was pregnant with Graham. So maybe I took the tests too early, or I could just be imagining things. Only time, or another test, will tell.

Decisions, Apologies, and Realizations

The time is quickly approaching to make a decision on when to return to Germany. There have been rumors that Aaron will be returning as early as March. These are of course rumors, although supposedly from a very reliable source. What do I do? Return in January to re-acclimate in time for Aaron's return? Return in June, when Aaron will definitely be back and the Spring semester will be over? Or never return? It seems to be a near impossible decision


I miss Germany. I miss the freedom I had there. I miss my friends. I miss the fresh air. I miss how healthy I felt. Germany was great for me. It was truly the first time that I was on my own. Maybe I need more of that. Sometimes I feel like I'm still struggling to figure out who I am, and as long as I am living in Nashville I will never be able to figure it out. My identity seems to be my family.


I had plans to take a couple science classes this Spring, nursing pre-reqs and such. Kayla has a dance recital in June, which we already put a $70 deposit down for her outfit. Vinny graduates in May, something I want to be here for, and it's also his last season of baseball which I would love to see, I missed baseball in Germany.


So what takes priority? How I felt, what I need, what I want? What Kayla wants? What Aaron wants? What I feel is best for our family? What if they overlap into both options?


Apologies are in order. It seems as though a previous post hurt the feelings of someone very close to me. It was not my intention, just my venting. Maybe I should rethink my openness here. It seems as though that would be counterproductive. My entries help me to see things more clearly and not typing everything hinders that. Just please remember, my intentions are never to hurt anyone.


I have come to realize, that I listen to other people entirely too much when it comes to parenting. I have been trying to get Graham to sleep through the night. Several people have told me that he shouldn't still be nursing at night, and so I've been trying to stop the nighttime nursings. This has proven to be very difficult. Graham cries inconsolably when I refuse to feed him. It's not good for either of us. He will stop nursing at night when he is ready. Kayla was still nursing at night when she was Graham's age. I don't think she stopped night nursings until about 15 months. So Graham will nurse whenever he wants, and he will sleep through the night when he is ready. 


I believe I have made my decision on when to go back. I will post my decision when I am 100% sure of it. 

EC Necessities

I have received comments from several people wanting more information about EC. I suggest the following things to get started:



The most important thing to remember is that you are just opening the lines of communication about elimination. Expect accidents to occur, they will happen. DO NOT GET UPSET WITH YOUR CHILD IF THERE IS AN ACCIDENT. The majority of accidents occur when a parent does not listen to the child's cues, not that the child doesn't give one.

Blogging for Babywearing

'm copying this from www.thebabywearer.com because I know not everyone has access there, but if you do, the URL is http://www.thebabywearer.com/forum/showthread.php?416887-Brace-Yourself

Dear Babywearing Enthusiast:

It is time to BRACE YOURSELF!

A recall of a major baby carrier is being forced through this week. We want you to understand how this has been handled and to appreciate the immediacy of the problem!
Company was informed by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) that, after several years, a closed investigation of their product was being reopened.
Company was told by the CPSC to issue a recall of every product back more than ten years, and to discontinue sales, while admitting that there is no product flaw.
Company stopped all sales, with the intention of clearing up the matter and reopening shortly.
Company asked for the Health and Science report that the CPSC later claimed to have, indicating the need for a recall.
CPSC has NEVER complied; inside word is that there is NOT a Health and Science report.
Company was sent two draft press releases and asked to voluntarily recall their product or the CPSC would issue a unilateral recall (a forced recall) which included inflammatory language as well as a threat to pursue action against entire class of baby sling products.
Company held fast, knowing that the product is safe and a benefit to babies and stated they would be willing to work with the CPSC on a public education campaign about sling safety.
CPSC asked for Company’s financials.
Company complied.
CPSC said to company “You are no longer in business, we don’t need your cooperation in order to recall! Prepare to DESTROY all product next week!” Next week is International Babywearing week!
PLEASE NOTE: *THIS IS AFTER THE CPSC FORCED COMPANY TO STOP SELLING!

The CPSC has overstepped their bounds, and are bullying small, family businesses who make safe products!

This is only the beginning, according to the CPSC’s own words they want to eradicate the whole class of product!

A line has been drawn in the sand! Will you help fight the good fight with us? If you care that these products are available to you, to babies, to families across our country, ACT NOW!

If you are represented by any one of these legislators, please call and write to them NOW, before this recall happens. We are asking just a few simple things:

1. Stop all recall actions against baby sling companies until
2. We can finalize the ASTM voluntary sling standards (scheduled for November) and
3. Force the CPSC to follow their own internal procedures, stop using bullying tactics, and use sound science.

SENATE:
Mark Pryor – Chairman, AR (202) 224-2353
Byron L. Dorgan, ND (202) 224-2551
Barbara Boxer, CA (202) 224-3553
Bill Nelson, FL (202) 224-5274
Claire McCaskill, MO (202) 224-6154
Amy Klobuchar, MN (202) 224-3244
Tom Udall, NM (202) 224-5941
Roger Wicker – Ranking Member, MS (202) 224-6253
Olympia J. Snowe, ME (202) 224-5344
Jim DeMint, SC (202) 224-6121
John Thune, SD (202) 224-2321
Johnny Isakson, GA (202) 224-3643
David Vitter, LA (202) 224-4623

HOUSE:
Bobby L. Rush, IL, Chairman 202-225-4372; 773-224-6500
Jan Schakowsky, IL, Vice Chair 202-225-2111; 773-506-7100
Ed Whitfield, KY, Ranking Member 202-225-3115; 270-885-8079
John P. Sarbanes, MD 202-225-4016; 410-832-8890
George Radanovich, CA 202-225-4540; 559-449-2490
Betty Sutton, OH 202-225-2266; 330-865-8450
Cliff Stearns, FL 202-225-5744; 352-351-8777
Frank Pallone, Jr., NJ 202-225-4671; 732-571-1140
Joseph R. Pitts, PA 202-225-2411; 717-303-0667
Bart Gordon, TN 202-225-4231; 615-896-1986
Mary Bono Mack, CA 202-225-5330; 760-320-1076
Bart Stupak, MI 202-225-4735; 231-348-0657
Lee Terry, NE 202-225-4155; 402-397-9944
Gene Green, TX 202-225-1688; 281-999-5879
Sue Wilkins Myrick, NC 202-225-1976; 704-362-1060
Charles A. Gonzalez, TX 202-225-3236; 210-472-6195
Tim Murphy, PA 202-225-2301; 412-344-5583
Anthony D. Weiner, NY 202-225-6616; 718-520-9001
Phil Gingrey, GA 202-225-2931; 770-429-1776 J
im Matheson, UT 202-225-3011; 801-486-1236
Steve Scalise, LA 202-225-3015; 504-837-1259
G. K. Butterfield, NC 202-225-3101; 252-237-9816
Robert E. Latta, OH 202-225-6405; 419-668-0206
John Barrow, GA 202-225-2823; 912-354-7282
Joe Barton, TX 202-225-2002; 817-543-1000

Here is a sample letter. Please feel free to edit it and make it more personal to your situation. For example, if you are a business owner in the industry, let them know how a recall will affect you. If you are an educator, let them know how you help. Give them a personal story. Whatever it takes!

Dear _______,

I am writing as a concerned parent about the broad and overzealous scope of many of the recent CPSC recalls. In particular, I’ve learned that the CPSC is threatening a unilateral recall action against a reputable brand of baby sling.

I am appealing to you, as a member of the The Subcommittee on Consumer Protection, Product Safety, and Insurance. Today, I am asking that: 1) all baby sling recall actions be stopped immediately; 2) the ASTM sling carrier standard should be voted on so that sling carriers may be tested for this safety standard; 3) the CPSC be forced to follow their own internal procedures of due course, rather than using scare tactics and bullying to intimidate reputable, responsible companies.

I am aware that this particular product was in use at the time of death of an infant in one case in 2005. This incident was fully investigated by the CPSC and the company was told, in 2007, that the product was not at fault. In early 2010, this case was reopened despite no new evidence. The company was bullied into closure by the CPSC. No testing or report showing evidence of a defect has been made available to the company. The CPSC is now using the fact that the company is closed to issue the unilateral recall, despite lacking the science and statistics that would be the norm for this agency. At this time, there are indications of many more baby carrier recalls to come, including CPSC language that indicates that they are considering action against this "entire class of product".

Recalling this particular product, and potentially this "entire class of product", will have a decidedly negative impact on parents all over the United States. Babywearing is a practice that has proven health benefits for both babies and their caregivers, and is an essential part of parenting for millions of people across the country and worldwide. The CPSC is attempting to drastically limit a personal parenting choice through this unnecessary recall. Please consider the Baby Carrier Industry Alliance’s Position Paper (http://babycarrierindustryalliance.m...hite_paper.pdf/) as scientific evidence of both the necessity and the safety of baby carriers.

There is a strong network of babywearing safety advocates and volunteer groups throughout the nation whose mission is to teach caregivers how to use their baby carriers safely and effectively. Baby carriers are absolutely safe; perhaps even safer than many other baby care devices such as swings and car seats. Additionally, ASTM International is set to vote on a voluntary standard for sling carriers this very week. This standard is the result of 3 years of hard work by consumer advocates, manufacturers, and members of the CPSC's own staff.

The recent light shown on the tactics taken by the CPSC is shocking. Bullying small family-owned business to get the outcome they desire should not be how the US Government does business. I ask you to stop this recall, look into the actions of the CPSC, and consider allowing the voluntary standards process to be completed. I hope we can count on you.

Thank you for your consideration.

Best,

As Many of you know, I am addicted to babywearing. Luckily, this addiction is full of positives rather than negatives. I am able to carry Graham, and Kayla when she will let me, close to my body at all times. Graham is able to see the world around him, and see how adults interact with each other and with their surroundings. This stimulates his brain and helps to form necessary neuron connections. When done correctly, babywearing is extremely safe and beneficial. These recalls are threatening the babywearing community in a time that is already difficult enough. Please help protect babywearing!

Depression & Such

I need to go back to Germany. If for no other reason than because I feel I won't be as depressed there. I am miserable living with my parents. Not that they aren't a huge help, sometimes. I feel as if they take advantage of me, and expect me to do things differently than I do them. Every day is a fight with my mom about one thing or another, mostly related to my EC with Graham.

I also feel like my being here is keeping my dad from doing things that he needs to do, such as work. Maybe if I returned to Germany my parents would be happier with each other, since at that point my mom couldn't be jealous that my dad gets to spend so much time with us.

There are a couple things keeping me here. First, I couldn't go back to Germany until Middle of November. Going now would be pointless because Aaron is coming to California in less than 30 days. I'm returning from Cali on November 11, which of course means Thanksgiving is only a couple weeks after that. I'd have to stay for Thanksgiving. If I'm not here for Christmas my family would kill me! All of them, not just my parents. Second, I want to go back to school, which means Anatomy & Physiology and Microbiology. Both of which are classes I can't take online, which means I have to be stateside.

I think I need antidepressants. Or maybe just a job.

Countdown to R&R 30 days

In an effort to look amazing when Aaron returns from R & R, I started the 30 day shred this morning. This is about the fourth time I've "started" The longest I've kept at it is 4 days, so we'll see how long I'll make it this time. The difficulty is not in the program, rather finding the time to do it.

Yes, it is only a 20 minute program, who doesn't have 20 minutes? Well, I don't have 20 minutes. Graham is usually awake no later than 0530. Kayla usually wakes up as soon as I get out of bed. Graham usually naps a few times a day, Kayla on the other hand usually doesn't, and of course on the days they both nap, it's never at the same time. Graham is usually in bed no later than 1900-1930. Kayla of course varies from 2000-2200. Even if she went to bed early enough, we only have one DVD player in our house. How crazy is that? And of course it is hooked up to the main TV in the living room, so doing it in the evenings would inconvenience the 'rents. My only option is of course to wake up at 0500. Murphy's Law dictates however that if I were to get up at 0500 to work out, Graham would wake up at 0510. I will therefore continue to wake-up with Graham, feed him and bring him downstairs with me to work out, and pray that Kayla stays asleep.

I am excited to go to California. Mostly because I want to show off Graham, my wraps, and EC. I can't wait to see the look on my in-laws faces when I tell them that Graham doesn't wear diapers. If night EC doesn't become more reliant in the next 30 days, I will of course bring diapers for night time. For the most part though, Graham does pretty well at night. We've had a couple accidents, but that is to be expected.

I have decided that it is time to sell my wraps. As far as addictions go, you can't get past them while they are staring you in the face. I will keep a couple of my babies, because of their value and so that I can continue to wear Graham of course. The next one as well. I have about 35, and I will keep 13. A bamboo blend, a cashmere blend, a hemp blend, a silk blend, a tussah blend, two wool blends, 3 linen blends, and 3 cottons. They will be listed on ebay over the next 30 days. I can only hope that I get out of them what I put in them. I will post the results here. Whatever doesn't sell on ebay, I will list on TBW FSOT at discounted prices.

Unloading

Life with a toddler is impossible. Life with an infant is difficult. Life with both is impossibly difficult. However, it is one of the most rewarding experiences I can imagine.

Kayla loves her little brother like nothing I have ever seen before. She can be screaming at the top of her lungs for one thing or another, Graham enters her line of vision and she is reduced to smiles, giggles, and baby-talk. My heart just melts. The funniest thing about it, is she tries to regress back to his age, instead of bringing him forward to hers.

For example, I am ECing Graham. For those of you who don't know what that is, EC stands for Elimination Communication. It also is referred to as Natural Infant Hygiene and Infant Potty Training. Graham does not wear diapers, except for very rare occasions such as long trips to places that a toilet or bush/tree is not readily available. When this process first began, I would occasionally hold Graham over a bowl for him to eliminate in. About a month in, Kayla out of nowhere climbs on the counter, squats over a bowl (this one just happened to have canteloupe in it) and pees. She didn't tell anyone she needed to potty, she just did it. This afternoon, Grahams little potty arrived in the mail. Kayla proceeded to sit on it, fully clothed, and pee. I had just got done saying it was Graham's potty and she had her own big girl potty. She insisted this one was hers and "proved" it to me.

The only thing Kayla has not decided she wants to do is be wrapped on me. Graham loves to be wrapped tight against my body in any number of Didymos wraps. As my best friend put it "I have more of these things than I do shirts." Sadly it is true. The worst part about it is that each wrap cots about the amount of 4-5 shirts, and $30 shirts at that. I have spent as much as $800 on a single wrap. It has become an unhealthy addiction actually. In the last 2-3 weeks, I have accumulated about 16 new wraps, and spent about $6,000. I have a counseling session on October 12.

Spending money is my way of dealing with stress. It use to be eating, but when I started buying wraps I was also dieting, so instead of eating, I buy. Now that I have realized I have a problem with buying wraps, I have quit, but I am starting to eat again. Hence the counseling. I'm guessing there are some underlying issues that need to be dealt with so that I can get on with my life, and get out of this debt I have put myself and my family into.

I want so badly to tell Aaron about it. However, I don't want to give him something else to worry about while he's in Afghanistan. At the same time, I feel like not telling him is lying to him. I also don't want him to get mad at me.

Sometimes I wonder if one of the reasons I spend so much money on wraps is because I feel like it makes me a better mom. Am I such a bad parent that in order to make-up for the things I don't do, I do the "crunchy" parenting? Do I think that AP moms are generally thought of as better parents, more in tune to their children, that if I am perceived as an AP mom no one will know how crappy a parent I really am? Hopefully the answers to these questions will come in time. Until then, I'll just keep on keeping on.