I just can't anymore...

I am so sick of doing everything because it's what somebody else wants or expects me to do. Almost everything in my being is saying go back to Germany after my birthday. Everytime I think I've made the decision to do just that, I stop myself. I really want to watch Vinny play baseball, and be here for his graduation. But is that just me being so over-reliant on my family again. I am constantly saying that Aaron's parent's need to realize that we are his family now, and we come first. Yet I am still putting the $a clan before mine and Aaron's family. At the same time, I can't help but wonder is wanting to watch Vinny play baseball really about Vinny, or is it about just wanting to go to baseball games? I think it's just about going to baseball games. In which case, I will just have to go to the baseball games in Germany. There is a semi-professional league not too far away.

There it is, I'm headed back sometime shortly after my birthday. I need to suck it up and stand up for what is best for my family. Damn, I have a lot to do. At most 8 weeks to do it in.