Whirlwind

As of April 29, 2010 at 4:01 in the afternoon (Central European Time) I am a mother of two. It is hard to believe that almost a month has gone by. The past month has been much more difficult than I anticipated. It seems as though Graham does two things all day, either eats or screams. It is my belief that he is suffering from Acid Reflux, we will find out on Friday. Kayla has taken to crying. I guess she sees us respond to Grahams cries immediately and has decided it's the best way to get our attention for herself as well. This has lead to many frustrating moments, moments when I don't recognize myself because I'm usually so calm natured. I've actually scared myself a few times and I had to have Aaron come get Graham so that I could just breathe. It is in these moments that I don't know how I am going to survive the upcoming deployment with my sanity intact.

Friends and family have always been what got me through difficult times. This time I am without family, with the exception of my children who sad to say add to the difficulties, and friends are hard to come by. I found one, but she's leaving for the deployment, and there are a couple more possibilities for friendship, but they're not to that level of comfort that I would rely on for making it through difficult times, not yet anyways.

To add to the deployment difficulty, my grandfather is having a double bypass tomorrow morning. This was one of my biggest fears about moving to Europe. All four of my grandparents are currently alive, and I am very thankful for that. My maternal grandmother is in remission of colon cancer, for the second time. My paternal grandmother is 80 years old and has every ailment you could possibly imagine that isn't life threatening in and of itself. My paternal grandfather is 81 and has diabetes. My maternal grandfather was perfectly healthy until suddenly he was short of breath and they found a blockage too big for a stint and needing a double bypass. He was the last one I was worried about.

It's been a whirlwind of emotions, I hope I make it through the storm.